Margins

Sorry, friends. I dropped the Write31Days ball yesterday. I was going to write at 11 pm, but decided maybe sleep would be a better choice. I am happy to report that it was.

But, I'm back! Semi-awake, but here nonetheless. For some reason, this week has already been a bit crazy, and we're not even through Tuesday. Last week was a slower, smoother week, and this week seems to barreling forward with no sign of slowing down. But it does lead me to today's topic...margins. You know those little white spaces that annoyed the crap out of you in college: 'Your paper must have .5' margins on the sides. But 1" margins on the top. After the header. Above the footer. And you need an extra .5' on the left side.' Something like that.

But really, that's exactly what margins are - blank space. Cue Taylor Swift lyrics..."Cause I've got a blank space baby, and I'll write your name." (I totally did that by the way. In high school. HIS name. Or my name with HIS last name. All up in those margins.) Margins are that empty space just begging to be written in, begging to be filled with the fun things, the pretty things, not the boring notes you're taking. Or, at least, that's what I used to think.

I'm learning that I actually like paper with some white space. It looks clean and organized. I can look at a neatly formed list and breathe a little sigh...it doesn't have crazy doodles and weird shapes or bubble letters all over it. Even though those things are fun to draw and enjoyable in the moment, they end up leaving the page feeling frantic and crazy, and very, very difficult to read. You do see where I'm going with this, right?

When we try to fill every 'blank space', every margin - even with good, fun things - it ends up getting a bit crazy. Sure, at first it's fun; we're trying out new ideas and seeing people we love and visiting all the places and going to all the things. And there are seasons for that. But fill those margins too often, for too long, and your life resembles my 11th grade science notebook...not a lot of content, but a lot of 'extra' that doesn't really have any place, and is hard to make sense of when you step back and look at it. Speaking from experience, we've had many of those seasons. They were a little easier to have when we didn't have kids (ha!) but we've had them since. It's part of this desire to live a more 'simple life'. To slow down, to breathe, to enjoy the actual content of our lives, without having to always add to it, or fill it full to the brim.

Margins allow us to say 'Hey! Come over for dinner!' or 'Sure, you can play with Graham'. They allow me to enjoy a fall afternoon reading outside knowing there is time and space to get some of the 'to-do's' done later. They also allow me to say NO. No, I can't do that, because we are doing this and this, and that's enough. No, I can't do that fun thing today, because I do have 'to-dos' and need to do them today to do the other fun thing I was looking forward to tomorrow.

Margins are also hard. We live in an amazing area where there is ALWAYS something to do. Always. This weekend is a perfect example: Food Truck Thursdays and the LU Market, shows downtown and art galleries to see, the farmer's market, Bedford Centerfest, apple orchards, Appomattox Railroad festival, brunch with friends, a rodeo...and that's just within 3 days and a 30 mile radius! There's a part of me that wants to do all the things. Inevitably, someone will do one of the things and post it online and I think 'Ooo! We should have done that.' But those shoulds are sneaky. If you find yourself saying it often, it's a good time to ask yourself 'says who??' When we operate on shoulds (as I have learned, because I am the recovering queen of them) we fail to actually live within the margins of our own lives. And we miss out on the beauty of the life we've personally been given to live.

There will be busy weeks, busy months, busy seasons. That's life. But we are in control of how much we allow to fill our margins, and I'm learning the less full that they are, the more full that I am.

Here's to the freedom to say no, blank space, and Tay Swift, because who doesn't love her, really? (even if in secret...you know it's true.)