Breaking Bread

I tried to think of a way to make that more of a play on 'Breaking Bad', but that's as close as it's going to get, so it'll have to do.

We had friends over for dinner tonight, something we love to do but don't do nearly enough of (see my post about 'Margins'). We go back and forth about this, for so many 'reasons'. Our house is very tiny (our laundry room is actually combined with our dining room, we have a galley kitchen, etc.); Jim has a lot of homework involved in getting his counseling degree, and our time together is already very limited; the boys have bedtimes; other people's kids have bedtimes; our house isn't clean, yada yada yada. And yet...we love spending time with friends, and long to have real, lasting, intimate relationships with people. How do we marry these things?

By doing it. What? Simple you say?! Shocking. But so true. We just have to do it. So we did. We have a group of friends that we've come to love dearly and spent a lot of time with this spring/summer, but vacations and fall and its new routines have left us all more scattered than before. We decided we missed that time, so on Tuesday I sent out a mass text, and had an open invitation to them to come for dinner tonight (Thursday). This summer we had a friend who did weekly soup nights and had a standing invitation, and it was probably my favorite idea ever. So, I planned a couple different soups to make (one catering to the boys' allergies, one not) and set a time, and that was that. Not everyone could come, but those that could, did. We had 6 adults and 6 kids in our little dining room; Jude only napped for 45 minutes all day so went to bed while they were here; kids were screaming at various intervals, food was passed, wine was poured, multiple conversations happened at once...and it was just beautiful. It made me so thankful that we just did it.

My day wasn't stellar up til that point; I actually texted our guests earlier and said 'Just a heads up. It's been a hell of a day, don't be surprised if I've already cracked open some wine when you get here!' (I hadn't, but I thought fair warning was due.) But those are the relationships I value. The ones where I can text random things and share when I feel crazy or I'm just irrationally frustrated and they get it. No drama, no fuss. When they came over tonight I'm pretty sure a toy was scraped across the floor with the opening of the door, there were crumbs scattered in random places, laundry piled on the dryer next to the dining room table. And it was all just perfect. Because we were breaking bread together, and sharing life - in all of its mad craziness at this phase of littles!

As a Christian, I celebrate the Eucharist, or Communion, as it's more commonly known. The breaking of bread and drinking of wine. We do this formally in church, yes, but the older I get the more I've realized that it is celebrated exactly as Christ said 'as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup'. When I'm celebrating life with others - especially when we connect through faith - it a truly special, sacred thing, not to be taken for granted.

So, may I encourage you - forget cleaning to perfection or cooking a gourmet meal. Forget planning schedules to coordinate weeks in advance. Think of some friends you love - or friends you'd like to know better - send a text, and break bread this weekend. Maybe it's chili and football on Sunday, or a picnic at the park, or last minute Mexican at a local dive. Whatever it is, I promise it will be good. And bonus: somehow, after you've had a great meal with friends, the cleanup isn't nearly as unpleasant as a typical evening's dinner. I was done 10 minutes after they left, wondering what to do with all my time!

Here's to impromtu parties, good friends, good wine, good food and sharing this beautiful, crazy life together. It's always, always worth it.

Simple

Tonight's post is short and sweet...in other words, simple.

When people talk about simplicity, I think it conjures up a different picture for everyone. It could be less responsibilities, less stress, more family time, more space, less space, delegating responsibilities, a strict routine or a go-with-the-flow type of mantra. Simple isn't so simple, is it?

For me, simple means getting back to the basics of life, and learning how to do them well. And by basics, I do mean basics. Things like laundry and dishes and ironing shirts. (OK, maybe not that...I don't think I'll ever do that well. Or do it at all! Eek.) Growing our own food, raising animals, purposefully raising and guiding our children. I want to know how to do these basics well, and truly enjoy them, because, whether we like it or not, they take up a LOT of our time. I don't know about you, but if there are things I have to do consistently, and they're not going anywhere, I would rather figure out how to enjoy the time spent doing them rather than rushing through and wishing my life away. Do I do this? Ha. Not hardly. Key verbiage here is that I'm learning. Albeit slowly, I have begun to see that having a wicker laundry basket full of neatly folded clothes is actually pretty, and soul-satisfying in a strange way. If those clothes were hung on the line, it's even more so (that doesn't happen nearly as often as I'd like!) A clean kitchen makes for a sweet, slow start to the day, instead of a stressed or harried morning. Am I weird for all of this? Possibly, but I'm becoming OK with that.

That's part of simple for me. It may be different for you! I love the defintion of simple living given on The Art of Simple: "living holistically with your life's purpose". That's it! It may look different for everyone, but really, that is pretty simple after all.

So here's to simple living, pretty laundry piles, and British TV...because that's about to happen.

Margins

Sorry, friends. I dropped the Write31Days ball yesterday. I was going to write at 11 pm, but decided maybe sleep would be a better choice. I am happy to report that it was.

But, I'm back! Semi-awake, but here nonetheless. For some reason, this week has already been a bit crazy, and we're not even through Tuesday. Last week was a slower, smoother week, and this week seems to barreling forward with no sign of slowing down. But it does lead me to today's topic...margins. You know those little white spaces that annoyed the crap out of you in college: 'Your paper must have .5' margins on the sides. But 1" margins on the top. After the header. Above the footer. And you need an extra .5' on the left side.' Something like that.

But really, that's exactly what margins are - blank space. Cue Taylor Swift lyrics..."Cause I've got a blank space baby, and I'll write your name." (I totally did that by the way. In high school. HIS name. Or my name with HIS last name. All up in those margins.) Margins are that empty space just begging to be written in, begging to be filled with the fun things, the pretty things, not the boring notes you're taking. Or, at least, that's what I used to think.

I'm learning that I actually like paper with some white space. It looks clean and organized. I can look at a neatly formed list and breathe a little sigh...it doesn't have crazy doodles and weird shapes or bubble letters all over it. Even though those things are fun to draw and enjoyable in the moment, they end up leaving the page feeling frantic and crazy, and very, very difficult to read. You do see where I'm going with this, right?

When we try to fill every 'blank space', every margin - even with good, fun things - it ends up getting a bit crazy. Sure, at first it's fun; we're trying out new ideas and seeing people we love and visiting all the places and going to all the things. And there are seasons for that. But fill those margins too often, for too long, and your life resembles my 11th grade science notebook...not a lot of content, but a lot of 'extra' that doesn't really have any place, and is hard to make sense of when you step back and look at it. Speaking from experience, we've had many of those seasons. They were a little easier to have when we didn't have kids (ha!) but we've had them since. It's part of this desire to live a more 'simple life'. To slow down, to breathe, to enjoy the actual content of our lives, without having to always add to it, or fill it full to the brim.

Margins allow us to say 'Hey! Come over for dinner!' or 'Sure, you can play with Graham'. They allow me to enjoy a fall afternoon reading outside knowing there is time and space to get some of the 'to-do's' done later. They also allow me to say NO. No, I can't do that, because we are doing this and this, and that's enough. No, I can't do that fun thing today, because I do have 'to-dos' and need to do them today to do the other fun thing I was looking forward to tomorrow.

Margins are also hard. We live in an amazing area where there is ALWAYS something to do. Always. This weekend is a perfect example: Food Truck Thursdays and the LU Market, shows downtown and art galleries to see, the farmer's market, Bedford Centerfest, apple orchards, Appomattox Railroad festival, brunch with friends, a rodeo...and that's just within 3 days and a 30 mile radius! There's a part of me that wants to do all the things. Inevitably, someone will do one of the things and post it online and I think 'Ooo! We should have done that.' But those shoulds are sneaky. If you find yourself saying it often, it's a good time to ask yourself 'says who??' When we operate on shoulds (as I have learned, because I am the recovering queen of them) we fail to actually live within the margins of our own lives. And we miss out on the beauty of the life we've personally been given to live.

There will be busy weeks, busy months, busy seasons. That's life. But we are in control of how much we allow to fill our margins, and I'm learning the less full that they are, the more full that I am.

Here's to the freedom to say no, blank space, and Tay Swift, because who doesn't love her, really? (even if in secret...you know it's true.)

Simple Health

Well, our nights have kept going downhill...last night I was up googling 'whooping cough', 'croup', 'when to take your baby to the ER'...it was a little scary! I "slept" in Jude's room all night (quotations are very purposeful), and we did a few applications of garlic salve, a lot of singing and shushing, and a few sauna sessions in a steamy bathroom (that would be a sexy thought if a baby wasn't involved. Although...if a baby wasn't involved, it may result in a baby being involved...).

He still had a crummy cough this morning, so we went ahead and went to urgent care. Which, can we note, is never very urgent. I haven't quite figured that out. You could tell the doctor was thrilled to be there (ha.) and thought I was probably just bringing in a baby with a cold. Once he did a check up, he quickly changed his attitude, and with a negative strep test, all signs point to spasmodic croup. It's basically croup brought on by allergies, so it comes and goes. This is consistent with what we've been talking with his pediatrician about...we just don't know what allergens are affecting him (other than corn dust when we were in Iowa).

This is pretty common for us with both boys - go to the doctor just to be sure nothing more is going on, get that confirmed, and then back home to treat on our own. Their type of allergies (you can check out this page for more info) are actually pretty rare, and the majority of doctors we talk to either have never heard of them, or are vaguely familiar. Diagnosing Graham took 2 years! We carry a letter specifically for medical professionals so we can explain what it is and why we have to be careful with treatment. They are allergic to most medications and vaccinations (due to ingredients) so it can be a delicate dance.

All of that got me thinking...while our boys' health is complicated, our treatments are actually quite simple. Having to deal with a lot of it on our own has led us to find some great at-home treatments, and you don't have to spend a lot of money for them either! Things like essential oils and tinctures and salves can be overwhelming at first; I thought I would share a few of our tried-and-true remedies here!

Please note two things: 1) make sure to get high quality essential oils, especially if applying to skin, and always dilute if applying to skin. 2) I'm not a medical professional, so please just take these as a 'what worked for us' post. 

If you want to start a basic 'kit', these are really the things we use most.

• lavender oil
• eucalyptus oil
• peppermint oil
• Theives oil
• clove oil
• coconut oil
• apple cider vinegar
• garlic
• onions
• a diffuser

Some combination of these can usually help to treat most of our 'common' ailments. Here are a few we use often:

For general coughs/colds:

• -eucalyptus oil diluted with coconut oil. Rub on the chest and soles of the feet (like Vicks, but better!)
• -especially if viral, rub diluted Theives on the spine. Most viruses live on the spine, and this helps to dissipate it and strengthen the immune system. I am always amazed at how well this works!
• use Thieves in coconut oil as a 'lotion' for the hands - it's antiviral so will protect better than hand sanitizer!
• -for kids old enough to drink water out of a cup: add 1 tsp of apple cider vinegar + honey to their water to break up a cough
• -get garlic in them in any way possible! We make a garlic salve (that smells, um...pungent.) to rub on the chest, back and feet for coughs (been using this today a lot!). Fresh garlic on buttered toast, sautéed kale with garlic, soup with garlic...basically get.it.in.them. It's a natural antibiotic and the more the better!
• diluted peppermint oil rubbed on the temples to help with headaches
• lavender and eucalyptus oils diffused

Earaches/teething:

• -diluted lavender oil rubbed behind the ears
• -heat coconut oil with fresh crushed garlic, strain and let cool so it won't burn, then drop into the ear
• -put onions in their socks (weird, I know!) or in compresses on their ears
• -diluted (VERY diluted, as clove oil is strong) clove oil directly on the gums for teething pain
• I'm currently making a teething tincture with safflower oil, chamomile flowers, willow bark, clove and peppermint oil

Upset stomachs/gas:

• -diluted peppermint oil rubbed on the soles of the feet and on the stomach directly 
• -not on the 'list' but Kids Calm is a magnesium supplement that has been a Godsend for us. You put 1/4 tsp in hot water and let it fizz, then add to their bottle. Magnesium helps the intestines do what they are supposed to do...it's the only thing that has consistently worked for Jude!
• -warm (not hot) chamomile tea

This is far from a comprehensive list, and I'm constantly learning more. This book I picked up at an Amish house near my parents has been really helpful for us - the author is a midwife and has 9 children of her own, 8 of which had food intolerances...so it's right up my ally. I can't vouch for everything in the book, but the general remedies have been extremely helpful. 

Jude fell asleep quite easily tonight, so I'm hoping for a more peaceful rest. We have a humidifier going with lavender oil, he has garlic salve all over him, there's a cut onion sitting in his room, and I gave him the one kind of pain reliever he isn't allergic to - Advil brand baby, white grape flavor. Here's to learning new things, REST, and the makers of Advil, because I love them.

Do you have any other tried and true home remedies? I'd love to hear them!!

Groundhog Day

Remember yesterday's post, where I woke up crabby, the baby wouldn't sleep, etc.? Hi, welcome back.

I think a lot of parenthood can feel like the movie Groundhog Day...the same day plays over, and over, and over again, until you're pretty sure you're going crazy. It usually lasts for short seasons, but when you're in them, whew!

We've had a rotating series of them since the beginning of August; Jude's allergies (see this post for some explanation) aren't just to some foods, but also outdoor allergens. The change in seasons has had him go through spurts of croup-like sickness, where he coughs so much he ends up spewing up the contents of his stomach. It's delightful, especially at 2 am. Once it's done he's all 'Hey! Let's play!' however, I don't feel quite the same. Couple that with the rain we've had lately and the hubby also being sick and holed up in the bedroom...yeah. Honestly, I almost didn't write today because I figure no one cares to read about this. Honestly, I don't blame you, I'd be finding some funny Jimmy Fallon sketch to watch instead...which I'll probably do anyway.

But, I'm committing to doing this, so here we are. After the 2 am incident and another waking, I finally declared today a 'newborn day'. It's how I remind myself that some days are just, simply, living. There may not be a lot accomplished, we may not get dressed, or if we do it's just to run to Target at 4:30 pm (I'm already planning that trip for after nap time!), but that's OK. We're fed, we're alive, and there is plentiful grace for us all. And muffins. And movies.

So here's to lazy days, baking all the things (it's probably good I'm wearing stretchy pants) and letting your kids watch those really weird Saturday morning cartoons. Congratulations, we made it.

Rainy Days and Rituals

I'm finally getting to write a post at 9pm...but I'm doing it! I promise no consistency in actual times posted each day, just that it will be done.

As promised, today was full of rain. Not quite hurricane-force, but cold and rainy and windy for sure. Even though I was prepared for it, for some reason I just woke up crabby. It probably has something to do with not going to bed til 1 am...maybe. Last night we were able to go to the quarterly wine club party at Blenheim Vineyards, where we're members. (oh SO fancy, right? ha. It was a gift, and it's the most chill winery I've ever been to. I love it!) Its claim to fame is that Dave Matthews owns it, although he's rarely there. Fun fact: he was there, on Father's Day, and I totally used my baby as a way to meet him. Cute babies for the win! Here's proof:

We decided that this will now be a date night ritual; every 3 months, we go to this shindig and get to feel fancy and drink good wine. Anyway, the winery is about an hour away, and after all the fun of the party we went to Whole Foods to get groceries, so we didn't get home til after 11. Which is exactly when the baby decided to wake up, and not really settle til after 12:30. AM. I don't know the last time I stayed up that late, which is both comical and awesome at the same time. I'm totally OK with quiet evenings at home these days. Mainly because they're quiet.

My crabby self was having a hard time getting out of its funk this morning...between the 3 year old's nonstop talking and the baby refusing to nap, things were escalating quickly to where the whole day could have just gone to the crapper. Instead, I did a lot of inward self-talk (this is not a normal day. You are tired. You're all tired. Their attitudes don't have to shape yours. Etc. Etc.) and jumped in the car to meet some friends at our local children's museum. And on the way, I realized that it's kind of becoming a Friday 'thing' to go there, and I like it. The rest of our week is pretty busy with preschool, Bible study and other commitments, so Friday has become our rest day, our 'fun' day.

I'm big on routine, but am realizing that sometimes those routines have to be extremely flexible with small children. So we have 'days' each week.

Sundays are church and family days, and Sunday nights I plan our week.
Mondays I usually finish up what I didn't get planned Sunday night, (usually due to important things like Downton Abbey), and I try to attend The Motherhood Collective.
Tuesdays are writing mornings for me, school for Graham. It's also 'goat milk day!' (is that weird that it's a thing? It is.) where we go pick up Jude's goat milk and get any chicken supplies, etc. that we need.
Wednesdays are school for Graham, and cleaning day at home. We do the whole house in a day, but we have the WHOLE day to do it, so it's less stressful to me. I also have yoga Wednesday evenings.
Thursdays are Bible Study morning and usually a Target or other 'fun' errand in the afternoon. (library, etc.)
Fridays are, apparently, 'fun'. I love when routines and rituals just organically happen, like going to the children's museum!
Saturdays are usually family outings - sometimes just running errands or going to the market, other times we'll do day trips in our area.

Today, when we came home Jude proceeded to sleep for 3 hours(!!!) so Graham and I watched Frozen (I actually napped next to him and pretended to know what was going on when he'd lean into my face and say 'Mommy, did you see that? That was so funny.') then ended up making a bunch of food. We made bone broth for soup and cooked and mashed butternut squash from our garden to use in place of pumpkin (which I forgot at the store). We then made pumpkin scones (with EGGS. this is big. Food trial for Graham, he used to be highly allergic...so far, so good!) and made dinner for this evening as well. We ended up with leftovers, the beginnings of soup for tomorrow, scones and enough pureed squash for muffins...it got me thinking, maybe Friday afternoons/evenings will be reserved for 'Food Prep' after all our fun! (why Friday is the only alliterated day, I don't know, but for fear of being far more cheesy than this already is, we'll leave it there.)

Rituals are how I keep things 'simple' for us. I'm a planner by nature, and constantly am fighting the tension of that tendency while living in our reality. All of this rambling to say, today turned out OK after all. We giggled and played, there were time outs and tantrums (by all, ha!) but overall, a good one. Here's to rainy days, rituals, and turning the day around! And here's a cute picture of my boys wrestling in the kitchen, because they're boys, and that's what they do.

It's Fall Y'All!

Do you know how many times I've wanted to say that, but don't, for fear of sounding incredibly Northern? Actually, I'll probably just stick with writing it out, because then you can imagine I have an appropriately cute Southern accent, when, in reality, I talk like the people on TV.

If you've read this blog at all, you know my posting is anything but consistent. This month, however, shall change all that! (at least for a month...small goals, people, small goals.) I'm linking with the Write31Days project and posting EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. in October. I know. I'll give you a minute.

...OK. Now that you're settled and anxiously awaiting what I'm going to say for an entire month! (sarcasm)...what AM I going to say for an entire month? Picking a single topic gave me some serious anxiety and writer's block, which is a little bit unhelpful if I have to have content every day. So I chose a broad topic: Simply Living. It's a bit of a play on words...I'll talk about actual simple living; simple whole foods, decluttering like a mad woman, how I've switched to a capsule wardrobe and LOVE it (my dad will never believe me there, ever. I was the one who bought all the things!). I'll also talk about simply living; raising babies and food and chickens, finding unexpected joy and rest in small rhythms and routines, NOT doing all the things. (are we sensing a pattern here?)

So today, in honor of simply living, I'm celebrating fall. It's the first day of October, and after a week of rain we had sun and 80 degree weather yesterday. Tonight is supposed to bring crazy amounts of rain thanks to hurricane Joaquin, (have you seen this meme?? Amazing.)

...but today is just perfectly FALL. Drizzly and overcast, cool enough for a sweater but warm enough for no coat, boots weather because it's wet, and I ate a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup that we had preserved from last year's garden for lunch. I'm also writing and ignoring the fact that my baby is trying to wake up from his nap FAR too early...but I  suppose I should go see about that.

Here's to Fall, to October, to Write31days! Cheers!

(those pumpkins are from our garden!! Eek! Best thing I've grown yet.)

"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers" - Anne of Green Gables