A lot has happened since my last post - namely, we're pregnant! I will be in my second trimester next week - hallelujah! I am far more sick this time than I ever was with Graham, and I am praying the sickness subsides soon. However, I am trying to remind myself to be grateful for every nauseating afternoon, as it means this little Monkey (the name Graham has chosen) is growing!
We had what is known in medical terms as a 'chemical pregnancy' in March, which basically means a very early miscarriage - ours was between 4-5 weeks pregnant. It was a really difficult time for a few weeks - grieving a loss we never fully even felt. Almost as soon as we realized I was pregnant, we miscarried. I think I am still processing it in some ways. We had no idea we were pregnant again the following month - we just thought I should go and get everything checked out at the doctor. We were shocked, to put it mildly. I think we both re-went through the grieving process after finding out we were pregnant again, and, I'll be honest, the first few weeks of this pregnancy I was pretty nervous. We'd been trying for a year to have another baby, so the emotional ups and downs of the last few months (combined with all the hormonal changes!) have been draining.
After finding out about the pregnancy, Jim and I were talking and realized just how much of a roller coaster life has been for the last few months. It kept frustrating me that I couldn't ever quite feel like we had a good routine down or a new 'normal' after quitting work - and it's no surprise. Here's a snippet:
September: Quit my job of 7 years, have home for sale, planning to move 1000 miles away.
October: 2 week visit to Iowa (planned location of move), start 'stay at home mom life'
November: Graham starts having severe reactions again; 2 year old birthday party, referral to a pediatric gastroenterologist, hosting Thanksgiving, house that never sold comes off the market
December: Gastroenterologist appointment, allergist appointment, lots of bloodwork, diagnosis of FPIES, 20 hour road trip to Iowa, Jim's job becomes very unstable due to regulation changes
January: A week of the flu, Jim barely has any hours, I get a concussion and am out of commission for 2 weeks, Jim starts his second Master's degree so he can get his LPC
February: Jim's gets a 'new' position that is far more stable, we decide we are staying in Lynchburg, build a garden to start our little homestead here
March: We get chickens, find out we're pregnant, then miscarry
April: Start Graham on new supplementation for 'leaky gut', I start a new job (one case of family coaching), officially start our garden, find out we are pregnant again!
I write that out more for me to remember than anything, so I apologize if I you are now bored out of your skull. But, seriously. It's been a heck of a time the past few months. We keep joking that whatever God wants us to learn we'd like to have it all learned for a while now. :)
I've been learning a lot about mom life, but also just about me, us as a family, and what's important to us. Some of those things are intentionality in our family time, taking care of our home and what has been entrusted to us, building community (which we have been having a great time getting to know our wonderful neighbors!), and (I feel like a broken record) living life more slowly.
The older Graham gets, the more fond memories I have of my childhood - which, at the time, I thought was boring at times (sorry mom); but I've realized how valuable that time was. There are things we do differently - we travel a lot more and have Graham experience a lot more culture, which were two things I didn't do a lot of and want him to experience from a young age. But, we didn't do lots of exciting things, we didn't have playdates all the time or run to 15 different stores (because we didn't have them maybe, ha!), we played outside or used our imaginations to create fictional worlds of Legos and Barbies, and we had a few close friends. And that was it. And we're realizing we want that not only for Graham, but for ourselves too. Living in Lynchburg since college, it's easy to get stuck in the 'college life' mindset, of always going, always doing, always being with everyone at everything. With kids, that's near impossible, but it's also not practical. Life isn't always exciting and sometimes the everyday can be the best part.
Anyways, I'm rambling. I say all of that partly to note that I changed the URL and name of my blog. The URL is now just my name, and the 'title' if you will is 'Back to My Roots'. I think this gives a bit more freedom for me to just talk about life - homesteading, marriage, friends, church, politics (because you know I can't not), and mom life.
So, here's to the next crazy few months, and then we'll have a newborn! I'm beginning to wonder if our 'routine' is 'don't count on one. Ever.' :)
