I'm almost nervous to write this. Scratch that - I am nervous. A) because it's controversial and B) because it's not really the normal thing I write about on this blog. Oh well, here we go!
If you know me very well, you know I enjoy politics, and a good political debate/discussion. When I had the opportunity to go lobby on Capitol Hill a few weeks ago, I was possibly as excited as a kid going to Disney for the first time (I say possibly, because I've actually never been to Disney. I know, I know. Poor, deprived farm girl. Except I don't really care that much). Also, the normal Americanized Baptistic "Republican = Christian" mindset that tends to permeate much of our society and our churches annoys me to no end, so bring up a politician, gay marriage, and a chicken sandwich and you've got me hooked.
Let's start by getting this out of the way: I believe in marriage between a man and a woman, period. I don't think marriage is marriage if it's between a man and a man or a woman and a woman. If you'd like me to expound on why, feel free to ask me personally and I'll gladly discuss it with you! I also believe in a free market and free speech, so whether you and I agree or not, we both have every right to not only share our opinions, but build a business where we choose, how we choose, and use the profits from that business as we wish. And that, my friends, is why the fact that there is even a debate happening surrounding the Chick-Fil-A controversy seems utterly ridiculous.
First, the mayor of Boston and whoever else wanted to boycott CFA (I'm lazy, sorry) for what their owner said is not an idiot, and deserve respect for their position, but they did make a statement that was not well thought-out. It's ironic, really. They wanted to ban the restaurant from their city for the exact same thing they were doing - expressing their opinion. Apparently it's only OK for them to do that if they agree with you...I'll make a mental note of that. So, I get it. I get the free speech part of it and even posted a link to something Mike Huckabee had written regarding the fact that it's about free speech and the right to express your beliefs. At the time, I didn't really know much about the whole August 1st "Let's go Eat Chicken Day!" (my name for it). Honestly, if you're planning on going in support of free speech, I don't think that's a bad thing, as it's one of the major rights we possess.
Here's where my issue lies: why is this particular instance about free speech? And is it really about free speech? Because, all of a sudden, the Christian (or Republican...sometimes the labels are inaccurately interchangeable) community at large is all "I support Chick-Fil-A!" and "Free Speech for Americans!" But, if it were really about that, why aren't we all "I'm going to Starbucks because they support gay marriage!" and "Breast Cancer Awareness rocks because they expressed their opinion. Free speech all the way!"....? I think it's because it's an easy guise; a cover for saying what we really think: "They can't bash what we believe. They can't ban us for that. I can publicly boycott whatever company I want because they choose to do with their money things I don't agree with, but you want to do that to ME and MY beliefs?? Uh-uh. No.way." But we make it look all pretty like "I love free speech!" I have much more respect for you if you can be honest about your motives, (myself included because I do it too, all the time!) and be consistent. If it's really about free speech then I better see you at Chick-Fil-A with a Starbucks latte in hand. If it's not, then say it's not.
But, if it's not, and it really is because you're offended, then maybe stop and ask yourself a question: Is this the best way to get my point across? Is showing my support in this way the best way to show the love of Christ? Because if our reason for going is to stand up for our beliefs, joining in an already heated debate probably isn't going to win anyone over. I don't know about you, but if someone I disagree with joins a huge throng of people and angrily chomps a chicken sandwich, I'm not prone to want to listen to them. But, if said person that I disagree with bought a chicken sandwich for themselves, brought me one, and invited me to sit down and have an open heart-to-heart talk, I'd at the very least be up for talking. If nothing else, because, hey, I like chicken.
So, before we start boycotting things we disagree with, or very publicly supporting businesses because we agree with them, maybe we should take a different approach. Maybe we should consider, I don't know...actually talking to the people we don't agree with. Write the mayor of Boston a sincere. respectful letter. Better yet, befriend some people in your own community with whom you don't agree. Wasn't Jesus called a glutton and a drunkard? I'm pretty sure it wasn't because he was hanging out with other people who only shared His beliefs. He didn't participate in their behavior, and He openly, honestly and lovingly shared why it was wrong, but He didn't waltz into their house eating a delicious box of waffle fries in spite either.
Besides, if we're really going to be consistent about only supporting businesses that line up with our beliefs, well...stop shopping at Wal-Mart, don't buy American-made cars, don't buy almost any major brand of food/clothes/toiletries, and ask every farmer at the farmer's market where they spend their money, then go live in a commune and grow our own food (wait...that doesn't sound horrible...). But seriously, to borrow a political term, go grassroots and start with your neighbor, or the guy walking downtown, or the lady next to you in the grocery aisle. Because we're called to reach people. And people, my friends, are right next door.
OK, I'm done. And I'm posting it to Facebook. And I might get flack for it. But that's OK, because really, it's only about free speech, right? ;)
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Multitasking Mama
I'm sitting at Liberty University's Snowflex as I write this. Only here do you run into skater guys, moms with kids, people from college who are still hanging out at LU as frequently as when we were students (yes - I'm talking to you guy with the beard. I see you.), and of course, the inevitable small church service. It is Wednesday night, after all, and they are currently singing "How Great is our God", led by a man with an acoustic guitar. Ahh...Liberty. It's nice to know some things don't change. Ever.
Why am I here, you may ask? Well, it's my "free night", and after I perused TJ Maxx for a bit, grabbed some coffee and thought this would be a nice comfy, quiet place to write. However, thanks to guitar man (who does have a lovely voice), I'm not in the air-conditioned lodge on a big comfy couch - I'm on a metal chair which is on top of AstroTurf, with a bee that apparently wants to be friends, and a pile of inner tubes behind me. At least it's a gorgeous view!
*side note* a little girl just shouted "I'm the queen of England!" and there is a lady walking around with a camera videotaping everything, everything, that is, except her kids. And I'm totally out of dress code and feel like I should cover my shoulders with a sweater, lest I get reps. *end side note*
I think it's befitting that I ended up here tonight - the last place I probably would have thought I'd be on my free night. I feel like I should be taking advantage of this time by going out with friends, going for a long run, getting something done...but I'm sitting here instead. It's befitting because I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the general busyness of life, priorities, and how those fit into my role as a mama. (a couple of friends have also recently posted about these things...you can check out Gini's blog here)
As women, I would say 90% of us probably excel at multitasking. It's kind of what we do, without even thinking about it. When I was in high school, I was on the volleyball team, captain of the cheerleading squad, valedictorian (it was a small school - don't be impressed), completed an internship, was on the church and school drama teams, was a youth leader, student council secretary and on yearbook. (can we say overachieving nerd? Yes, yes we can.) In college, it was student leadership, honors classes, dance team (not at LU, silly people), work study, part-time jobs and of course the ever-important hanging out with friends every night of the week. Now, in my job, I manage a staff of 12 who all have their own individual caseloads, update procedures, develop trainings, market our services, serve on a state advisory council, oversee billing and my department budget and goals, hire new staff, supervise and lead staff training, travel...and somewhere in there have a home, husband, son, friends, family and some kind of personal life.
Just looking at that list is exhausting some days. And I don't write that to say "Ooo! Look at me, I'm so busy and important." You - anyone reading this - probably has just as many things, if not more, whether you work or stay at home, have kids or not. My point is, we are just plain busy, and honestly, I don't think that's a good thing. Somewhere we decided that to be valued, to feel accomplished, to have meaning in our days, we need to constantly have something to do, somewhere to be, and someone to meet. And if we don't, then something must be wrong with our lives.
In my role as a mama, I see this permeating my days, especially on my days off. I think I'm so used to doing, doing, doing, I feel bad - actually guilty! - if I'm not. So, we run errands, go to playgroups, do laundry, clean house, pay bills, paint baseboards, organize closets, make lists, make dinner...all in the name of being "productive". And at the end of the day, I still feel behind, and almost wrong if I just want to sit and read or watch some TV for a while. The thing that frustrates me is that we encourage this in one another! I constantly see Facebook posts where we're listing (much as I have here) all the things we did/have to do in a day, and then spur each other on with comments such as "You're supermom!" or "I could never do all of that, you're amazing!" Or, the opposite: we'll post that we're taking some 'me time' and get the inevitable "You deserve it. You work so hard." as though our busyness is a prerequisite for just taking time to enjoy life.
What if it wasn't? What if we slowed down and took some time to really enjoy the gifts that are right in front of our faces, instead of constantly striving for that feeling of 'accomplishment'?
I think it really comes down to our motivation, our priorities, and what we truly value. (or, rather, where we find our value) I've learned in my job that days go best when I plan and prioritize based on what is important, not just checking off a to-do list or scheduling myself so back-to-back that I'm so busy my head is spinning. (even though checking off that list feels so good!) But, if I'm pulled in 10 different directions, or so focused on 'getting it done', I'm not really available for my staff or able to put all of myself into any one thing. The same holds true for home. My relationship with God and my family are most important, and caring for them requires a lot of multitasking. (I'm not dense enough to think I can just sit back and not take care of things. And believe me, with a mobile 8 month old, just cooking dinner can be a feat in juggling) But am I so focused on being 'supermom' or 'superwife' or 'superwhatever' and getting everything done that rather than serving them because I love them and it's a joy, I'm focused on the action of serving and failing to even see the reason(s) I do it? When that's the case, as is far more often than I would like to admit, I am not supermom. I am super-stressed, super-worried, super-anxious and super-exhausted!
So tonight, I'm sitting and writing. And swatting at bees. (seriously?! It's like it wants to make love to my leg. No.thank.you.) And looking at mountains. And enjoying some solitude so when I am back with my family, I can be focused and present, giving them me, not just the things that I do.
Why am I here, you may ask? Well, it's my "free night", and after I perused TJ Maxx for a bit, grabbed some coffee and thought this would be a nice comfy, quiet place to write. However, thanks to guitar man (who does have a lovely voice), I'm not in the air-conditioned lodge on a big comfy couch - I'm on a metal chair which is on top of AstroTurf, with a bee that apparently wants to be friends, and a pile of inner tubes behind me. At least it's a gorgeous view!
*side note* a little girl just shouted "I'm the queen of England!" and there is a lady walking around with a camera videotaping everything, everything, that is, except her kids. And I'm totally out of dress code and feel like I should cover my shoulders with a sweater, lest I get reps. *end side note*
I think it's befitting that I ended up here tonight - the last place I probably would have thought I'd be on my free night. I feel like I should be taking advantage of this time by going out with friends, going for a long run, getting something done...but I'm sitting here instead. It's befitting because I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the general busyness of life, priorities, and how those fit into my role as a mama. (a couple of friends have also recently posted about these things...you can check out Gini's blog here)
As women, I would say 90% of us probably excel at multitasking. It's kind of what we do, without even thinking about it. When I was in high school, I was on the volleyball team, captain of the cheerleading squad, valedictorian (it was a small school - don't be impressed), completed an internship, was on the church and school drama teams, was a youth leader, student council secretary and on yearbook. (can we say overachieving nerd? Yes, yes we can.) In college, it was student leadership, honors classes, dance team (not at LU, silly people), work study, part-time jobs and of course the ever-important hanging out with friends every night of the week. Now, in my job, I manage a staff of 12 who all have their own individual caseloads, update procedures, develop trainings, market our services, serve on a state advisory council, oversee billing and my department budget and goals, hire new staff, supervise and lead staff training, travel...and somewhere in there have a home, husband, son, friends, family and some kind of personal life.
Just looking at that list is exhausting some days. And I don't write that to say "Ooo! Look at me, I'm so busy and important." You - anyone reading this - probably has just as many things, if not more, whether you work or stay at home, have kids or not. My point is, we are just plain busy, and honestly, I don't think that's a good thing. Somewhere we decided that to be valued, to feel accomplished, to have meaning in our days, we need to constantly have something to do, somewhere to be, and someone to meet. And if we don't, then something must be wrong with our lives.
In my role as a mama, I see this permeating my days, especially on my days off. I think I'm so used to doing, doing, doing, I feel bad - actually guilty! - if I'm not. So, we run errands, go to playgroups, do laundry, clean house, pay bills, paint baseboards, organize closets, make lists, make dinner...all in the name of being "productive". And at the end of the day, I still feel behind, and almost wrong if I just want to sit and read or watch some TV for a while. The thing that frustrates me is that we encourage this in one another! I constantly see Facebook posts where we're listing (much as I have here) all the things we did/have to do in a day, and then spur each other on with comments such as "You're supermom!" or "I could never do all of that, you're amazing!" Or, the opposite: we'll post that we're taking some 'me time' and get the inevitable "You deserve it. You work so hard." as though our busyness is a prerequisite for just taking time to enjoy life.
What if it wasn't? What if we slowed down and took some time to really enjoy the gifts that are right in front of our faces, instead of constantly striving for that feeling of 'accomplishment'?
I think it really comes down to our motivation, our priorities, and what we truly value. (or, rather, where we find our value) I've learned in my job that days go best when I plan and prioritize based on what is important, not just checking off a to-do list or scheduling myself so back-to-back that I'm so busy my head is spinning. (even though checking off that list feels so good!) But, if I'm pulled in 10 different directions, or so focused on 'getting it done', I'm not really available for my staff or able to put all of myself into any one thing. The same holds true for home. My relationship with God and my family are most important, and caring for them requires a lot of multitasking. (I'm not dense enough to think I can just sit back and not take care of things. And believe me, with a mobile 8 month old, just cooking dinner can be a feat in juggling) But am I so focused on being 'supermom' or 'superwife' or 'superwhatever' and getting everything done that rather than serving them because I love them and it's a joy, I'm focused on the action of serving and failing to even see the reason(s) I do it? When that's the case, as is far more often than I would like to admit, I am not supermom. I am super-stressed, super-worried, super-anxious and super-exhausted!
So tonight, I'm sitting and writing. And swatting at bees. (seriously?! It's like it wants to make love to my leg. No.thank.you.) And looking at mountains. And enjoying some solitude so when I am back with my family, I can be focused and present, giving them me, not just the things that I do.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Gifts
I think about what I want to blog about all the time. No, really. I really think "hmm...I should blog about that" probably at least 3 times/week. I even have things jotted down to blog about. (some of them: working mom life; bangs [as in hairstyle]; girlfriends and how hard they can be; Christians and honesty/real life] ) But then I get all caught up in the crazy that is my life right now and never do it. Tonight, however, that changes. Tonight, it is quiet (for now), cool, I have the door open, music playing and a glass of wine and I am going to blog, damn it. (ooo. Alcohol and cursing right up front; this means it should be a good one. And if it's not, don't burst my bubble. Just go with it.)
The past 3 weeks have been a whirlwind. Even as I type this, I'm shocked it's been 3 weeks - they have all kind of blurred together. I've been to a conference in Arlington, meetings on Capitol Hill (bucket list - yep, it was on there), watched the sun set from the Jefferson Memorial, danced to karaoke with people of all abilities, spent a week at the beach with family, lost power for a week (those weeks thankfully overlapped!), have a baby who now has 2 teeth is is almost crawling, celebrated a wonderful friend's 30th birthday, and have traveled 400 miles in the last 3 days for work.
Lots has happened, and I feel like I've learned a lot. I'm not entirely sure how it all has worked together or if I'll ever really figure it out, but, while my head still feels like it's in about 800 different places, I feel more centered, more...peaceful, I guess, than I have in a long time. Don't get me wrong, I was stressed today and felt hectic and stretched and just wanted to hide for a while...but getting back to that sense of calm in the midst of chaos hasn't been quite as difficult lately.
Something just clicked a few weeks ago. I was really struggling with just never feeling like anything was enough...constantly behind on everything: work, home, parenting, Pinterest projects, cooking...whatever. And, to be honest, I still feel that way. I think the difference is I'm learning to accept that I can't do everything and I have the ability to choose. I can choose to focus on the crazy parts of life, or I can choose to focus on the good, and see the good - and the bad, and the hectic, and the sad, and the everything - as gifts.
I'm a bookworm (read: nerd alert), and I think God's really used that to teach me some good life lessons. I read Kelle Hampton's book Bloom: Finding Beauty in the Unexpected as soon as it came out. I knew it would hit home with all the unexpected I've run into in this motherhood journey, and boy did it ever. I still have it by my bed because I know I'm going to need to re-read it and refer to it often. Along the same lines, I had started reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, when I was pregnant. Her writing is beautiful, but definitely very...flowy, I guess I would say, and for a while I tired of it and put it down. But about a month ago, I felt this irresistible urge to just pick it back up again. And when I did, it was like everything I couldn't quite pin down in my mind and all the things I couldn't put into words just clicked. I brought it with me to my conference, and with the added time to myself was really able to read and think about things.
Since this is getting long, to sum it up (and completely jack the author's words): all is grace. As I was driving Graham to daycare this morning I head Laura Story's song "Blessings", and there is a part that says "We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering, All the while, You hear each spoken need, Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things." That is it! Me, in my prideful, type-A ways am convinced so often that my way is best. That if things would only be this way I would be more content, more happy, more at peace, more... How.dare.I. Everything God gives me is for my good (reference Psalm 118) So often I fail to remember that God chose me, loves me and is for me. This means everything, the good, the bad, the ugly, He is using to shape me and is for my good. And I can choose to see each of these things as a gift from His hand, or choose not to. But I'm learning that life somehow works a bit better when I choose the first option.
Here's a random list I jotted down while at the conference...see? I told you I think about blogging; this was even started as a post while there. Maybe they won't make any sense to you, but I like them.
God's sovereignty
Christians being un-Christian; not direct, tip-toeing around issues (learning how to be honest and real)
Autism
Good conversations with husband
time to think, relax, enjoy
Learning!
Fresh eyes - renewed passion for people
Inspired
Bucket lists
Lists of good things
sleep
love for a baby
community
sharing/growing
fancy hotel things
big city life
gorgeous blue skies, strong breezes
bubble baths and good music
What are some gifts you've noticed in your life lately? Or, if you haven't, maybe now is a good time to look for them...I promise, it will be a good thing. (side note: when I say it's a 'good thing' I feel like Martha Stewart. Didn't she always have a segment on her show saying 'It's a good thing.' ? That is all.)
The past 3 weeks have been a whirlwind. Even as I type this, I'm shocked it's been 3 weeks - they have all kind of blurred together. I've been to a conference in Arlington, meetings on Capitol Hill (bucket list - yep, it was on there), watched the sun set from the Jefferson Memorial, danced to karaoke with people of all abilities, spent a week at the beach with family, lost power for a week (those weeks thankfully overlapped!), have a baby who now has 2 teeth is is almost crawling, celebrated a wonderful friend's 30th birthday, and have traveled 400 miles in the last 3 days for work.
Lots has happened, and I feel like I've learned a lot. I'm not entirely sure how it all has worked together or if I'll ever really figure it out, but, while my head still feels like it's in about 800 different places, I feel more centered, more...peaceful, I guess, than I have in a long time. Don't get me wrong, I was stressed today and felt hectic and stretched and just wanted to hide for a while...but getting back to that sense of calm in the midst of chaos hasn't been quite as difficult lately.
Something just clicked a few weeks ago. I was really struggling with just never feeling like anything was enough...constantly behind on everything: work, home, parenting, Pinterest projects, cooking...whatever. And, to be honest, I still feel that way. I think the difference is I'm learning to accept that I can't do everything and I have the ability to choose. I can choose to focus on the crazy parts of life, or I can choose to focus on the good, and see the good - and the bad, and the hectic, and the sad, and the everything - as gifts.
I'm a bookworm (read: nerd alert), and I think God's really used that to teach me some good life lessons. I read Kelle Hampton's book Bloom: Finding Beauty in the Unexpected as soon as it came out. I knew it would hit home with all the unexpected I've run into in this motherhood journey, and boy did it ever. I still have it by my bed because I know I'm going to need to re-read it and refer to it often. Along the same lines, I had started reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, when I was pregnant. Her writing is beautiful, but definitely very...flowy, I guess I would say, and for a while I tired of it and put it down. But about a month ago, I felt this irresistible urge to just pick it back up again. And when I did, it was like everything I couldn't quite pin down in my mind and all the things I couldn't put into words just clicked. I brought it with me to my conference, and with the added time to myself was really able to read and think about things.
Since this is getting long, to sum it up (and completely jack the author's words): all is grace. As I was driving Graham to daycare this morning I head Laura Story's song "Blessings", and there is a part that says "We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering, All the while, You hear each spoken need, Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things." That is it! Me, in my prideful, type-A ways am convinced so often that my way is best. That if things would only be this way I would be more content, more happy, more at peace, more... How.dare.I. Everything God gives me is for my good (reference Psalm 118) So often I fail to remember that God chose me, loves me and is for me. This means everything, the good, the bad, the ugly, He is using to shape me and is for my good. And I can choose to see each of these things as a gift from His hand, or choose not to. But I'm learning that life somehow works a bit better when I choose the first option.
Here's a random list I jotted down while at the conference...see? I told you I think about blogging; this was even started as a post while there. Maybe they won't make any sense to you, but I like them.
God's sovereignty
Christians being un-Christian; not direct, tip-toeing around issues (learning how to be honest and real)
Autism
Good conversations with husband
time to think, relax, enjoy
Learning!
Fresh eyes - renewed passion for people
Inspired
Bucket lists
Lists of good things
sleep
love for a baby
community
sharing/growing
fancy hotel things
big city life
gorgeous blue skies, strong breezes
bubble baths and good music
What are some gifts you've noticed in your life lately? Or, if you haven't, maybe now is a good time to look for them...I promise, it will be a good thing. (side note: when I say it's a 'good thing' I feel like Martha Stewart. Didn't she always have a segment on her show saying 'It's a good thing.' ? That is all.)
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