Multitasking Mama

I'm sitting at Liberty University's Snowflex as I write this. Only here do you run into skater guys, moms with kids, people from college who are still hanging out at LU as frequently as when we were students (yes - I'm talking to you guy with the beard. I see you.), and of course, the inevitable small church service. It is Wednesday night, after all, and they are currently singing "How Great is our God", led by a man with an acoustic guitar. Ahh...Liberty. It's nice to know some things don't change. Ever.

Why am I here, you may ask? Well, it's my "free night", and after I perused TJ Maxx for a bit, grabbed some coffee and thought this would be a nice comfy, quiet place to write. However, thanks to guitar man (who does have a lovely voice), I'm not in the air-conditioned lodge on a big comfy couch - I'm on a metal chair which is on top of AstroTurf, with a bee that apparently wants to be friends, and a pile of inner tubes behind me. At least it's a gorgeous view!

*side note* a little girl just shouted "I'm the queen of England!" and there is a lady walking around with a camera videotaping everything, everything, that is, except her kids. And I'm totally out of dress code and feel like I should cover my shoulders with a sweater, lest I get reps. *end side note*

I think it's befitting that I ended up here tonight - the last place I probably would have thought I'd be on my free night. I feel like I should be taking advantage of this time by going out with friends, going for a long run, getting something done...but I'm sitting here instead. It's befitting because I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the general busyness of life, priorities, and how those fit into my role as a mama. (a couple of friends have also recently posted about these things...you can check out Gini's blog here)

As women, I would say 90% of us probably excel at multitasking. It's kind of what we do, without even thinking about it. When I was in high school, I was on the volleyball team, captain of the cheerleading squad, valedictorian (it was a small school - don't be impressed), completed an internship, was on the church and school drama teams, was a youth leader, student council secretary and on yearbook. (can we say overachieving nerd? Yes, yes we can.) In college, it was student leadership, honors classes, dance team (not at LU, silly people), work study, part-time jobs and of course the ever-important hanging out with friends every night of the week. Now, in my job, I manage a staff of 12 who all have their own individual caseloads, update procedures, develop trainings, market our services, serve on a state advisory council, oversee billing and my department budget and goals, hire new staff, supervise and lead staff training, travel...and somewhere in there have a home, husband, son, friends, family and some kind of personal life.

Just looking at that list is exhausting some days. And I don't write that to say "Ooo! Look at me, I'm so busy and important." You - anyone reading this - probably has just as many things, if not more, whether you work or stay at home, have kids or not. My point is, we are just plain busy, and honestly, I don't think that's a good thing. Somewhere we decided that to be valued, to feel accomplished, to have meaning in our days, we need to constantly have something to do, somewhere to be, and someone to meet. And if we don't, then something must be wrong with our lives.

In my role as a mama, I see this permeating my days, especially on my days off. I think I'm so used to doing, doing, doing, I feel bad - actually guilty! - if I'm not. So, we run errands, go to playgroups, do laundry, clean house, pay bills, paint baseboards, organize closets, make lists, make dinner...all in the name of being "productive". And at the end of the day, I still feel behind, and almost wrong if I just want to sit and read or watch some TV for a while. The thing that frustrates me is that we encourage this in one another! I constantly see Facebook posts where we're listing (much as I have here) all the things we did/have to do in a day, and then spur each other on with comments such as "You're supermom!" or "I could never do all of that, you're amazing!" Or, the opposite: we'll post that we're taking some 'me time' and get the inevitable "You deserve it. You work so hard." as though our busyness is a prerequisite for just taking time to enjoy life.

What if it wasn't? What if we slowed down and took some time to really enjoy the gifts that are right in front of our faces, instead of constantly striving for that feeling of 'accomplishment'?

I think it really comes down to our motivation, our priorities, and what we truly value. (or, rather, where we find our value) I've learned in my job that days go best when I plan and prioritize based on what is important, not just checking off a to-do list or scheduling myself so back-to-back that I'm so busy my head is spinning. (even though checking off that list feels so good!) But, if I'm pulled in 10 different directions, or so focused on 'getting it done', I'm not really available for my staff or able to put all of myself into any one thing. The same holds true for home. My relationship with God and my family are most important, and caring for them requires a lot of multitasking. (I'm not dense enough to think I can just sit back and not take care of things. And believe me, with a mobile 8 month old, just cooking dinner can be a feat in juggling) But am I so focused on being 'supermom' or 'superwife' or 'superwhatever' and getting everything done that rather than serving them because I love them and it's a joy, I'm focused on the action of serving and failing to even see the reason(s) I do it? When that's the case, as is far more often than I would like to admit, I am not supermom. I am super-stressed, super-worried, super-anxious and super-exhausted!

So tonight, I'm sitting and writing. And swatting at bees. (seriously?! It's like it wants to make love to my leg. No.thank.you.) And looking at mountains. And enjoying some solitude so when I am back with my family, I can be focused and present, giving them me, not just the things that I do.