And...we're back! 2 days in a row is quite the accomplishment, so I think I'll just end here, close the computer, and go to bed.
Kidding. Kind of, except I really am having trouble of thinking of five more specific things people told me about the first year of parenting. I don't know why exactly, but I think they all kind of run together. Nevertheless, I'm going to keep going. It's time for another installment of "First Year Top 10: Myth or Fact". (In my mind, I hear that being said in the guy's voice from Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me on NPR)
6. "You will become more 'you' than you ever were before". Fact. This one is probably the most true, yet most difficult to grasp. I have struggled the most this past year in finding me again. In fact, my very first post on this blog was about identity, and I think that is a constant learning and growing process. It's funny, I have always been a confident person and known, for the most part, who I am and what I want out of life. Well, if you ever want your world rocked just have a baby; if you want it rocked even more, have a baby who has some serious health issues and well, who are you again? Because you'll start to wonder. But I know one thing: as I grow in this mothering journey, I'm discovering parts of myself I didn't know were there. Sometimes good, sometimes not, but have a much deeper understanding of myself and of others, and never was able to realize before that that was even missing.
7. "The first three months are hard, but after that, it all starts to click". Myth-ish. I think this is a true statement for a lot of babies, but for us, I think a lot of this not being true was attributed to his reflux. What was true came from a dear friend who has gone through a very similar reflux experience: after 6 months, it gets better. I doubted that for, oh...about 6 months. Then one day, I realized, she was right! Something with babies with severe reflux...once they can sit up independently, life becomes more happy for everyone involved. So, 6 months was our marker; not that there weren't some wonderfully memorable times before then, but there were a lot of hard days too (and by a lot, I mean the majority) and after 6 months, those hard days became fewer.
8. "Don't compare. Your family is your family, and you do what works for you". Fact. I laugh when I write this, because...oh, the irony. Daily I still struggle with this! Oh, she's spending more quality time with her kids, or doing more home projects, or cooking great meals, or..or.or..or what? As much as I struggle with this, I am so thankful for its truth. God gave Graham to us to raise, in the home we live in, with the lives we live, and that is going to look different than anyone else, and that's OK. So hard, but so very, very true.
9. "You won't be wearing those kinds of clothes much anymore". Fact. This is in reference to things like wool, cashmere, silk...things that I had a lot of in my wardrobe, thanks to a lovely little thing called the J. Crew outlet. However, once your cashmere sweater gets spit up on a couple of times, and you realize just how hard that is to get out of said cashmere sweater, you start to think...hmm. Maybe, just maybe, this should be reserved for non-baby things. I remember when Graham was only a couple of months old going shopping because, as I told Jim, "I just need cute around-the-house things to wear". Things that are easy to wash, but also don't make you feel like you're that tired looking housewife that I think every mom dreads. I'm thankful I do get to wear my 'nicer' things still to work functions and date nights...and it kind of makes those pieces more special when I do wear them!
10. "The days are long, but the years are short". Fact. Times a billion. Oh, especially in those first days, there were times when I was just counting down until daddy came home. Or days like today, when little man skips his morning nap, so takes a weirdly-timed afternoon nap and wants to be in bed at 5:30 when it's daylight savings time. Not happening...but let me tell you, that hour and a half between 5:30 and 7 was looong. Like, I cracked open a beer while making dinner long. On days like that, it's easy to think that they're never going to be independent, never going to eat by themselves or entertain themselves for longer than 5.2 seconds. But then. Then, I start to get ready for his party and look through pictures of the last year. Of how little he was, and how he couldn't even sit, or swallow almost-liquid baby food the first time he tried it, or how his tiger 'lovey' was the same length as him. And now, now he is standing, taking steps, saying words (he says "I did it!" almost every time he flips off a light switch. Hysterical), discovering, learning, eating mostly finger foods and I just want to say "Stop! Just stop for a little bit!" Because this year has gone quickly. The really really hard days of those first months seem like a lifetime ago, but I just can't believe he's a year old already (almost. He's not yet. Let's make that clear.)
Woo! I did it. Top 10. There were so many others, and maybe this list is a bit lame, but that's OK. It got me blogging again, and we're going for a 3-peat tomorrow night. See you then! (or, if you really hate this, then maybe not. But that's OK too. Because I'm secure in my identity as a mom. Sometimes.)
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