Soapbox? Maybe.

So I stumbled upon this picture that has been going around the interwebs:

At first look, it's kind of humorous, and I get where they (whoever they are) were going with it: we in Western American society are spoiled, used to comfort, and NOT used to having to give up our personal time/space for others. We (generally speaking) get to do what we want, when we want it. Unlike the woman in the right side of the picture, whose day does not stop because she has a baby she needs to feed. I am sure there are some valuable life lessons to be learned from this woman.

However, on second glance (or, in my case, about 2 seconds after I read the captions), this picture didn't seem so funny. In fact, it kind of made me mad. Because I've been the woman who has thought things like "people are just too lazy to breastfeed" and "you're not doing what's best for your baby". Then this and this happened. And I did something fascinating, I grew. I learned. And I know I'm only 15 months in and have a ton to still learn, but can we please just stop this? The taunting, the arguing, the fact-throwing-around, the 'research proves' discussions. Because they're not doing anyone any good.

Let's back up a little. If you know me at all, you know I am a wee bit on the 'earthy' side of life. Organic foods, natural living (having a chicken coop is on my bucket list), amber teething necklaces, the less medicine the better...you get it. So, when I was pregnant, the thought of using formula never even occurred to me. When Graham was struggling with breastfeeding in the hospital and the nurses were suggesting formula, I was offended, angry even. (OK, I still am a little bit annoyed at how they handled it - tactful wouldn't be a word I would use to describe some of them) But, here we are, over a year later and our lives are incredibly, wonderfully better thanks to a little thing called Alimentum. If Similac decides to pay me for this, I won't object. Just saying.

As if the decision to stop breastfeeding wasn't hard enough for me, I first tried to use the most hypoallergenic, GMO-free formula available, and Graham would have none of it. So we had to get the big name brand, non-organic, hormone-laden hydrolyzed formula, and it was (more literally than figuratively) a life-saver. It's as though God was saying 'Hey, you say you trust Me, you say I'm sovereign, let's test that out a little.' And sure, Graham's had some sickness here and there, but nothing major, nothing as bad as how sick he was when I was breastfeeding him, and he is one of the happiest little boys I've ever seen (no credit to us - his personality just kind of rocks).

There's the side of me, maybe of you (all 20 of you reading this) that says "Oh, but you had extenuating circumstances. That's understandable." What I've come to realize is that 'extenuating circumstances' could mean a plethora of things. It could mean a mom with postpartum depression. It could mean low supply. It could mean going back to work and not being able to keep up with it all. It could mean personality. I could mean 'this just isn't for me'. It could mean lots of things. What it doesn't mean, is that there is any reason to tout one mom as better than another for the way she takes care of her baby. The key is that she is taking care of her baby. Period.

I know it's a never-ending debate, because, well - combine woman with hormones and you're bound for some drama. But I'm already tired of it, and I've barely been in it. Because what we should be doing is encouraging one another, seeing that we're all cared for, loved on and given information about every option, without pushing an agenda. Maybe letting moms think for themselves and letting them trust that motherly instinct. Don't get me wrong - I'm thankful for all the literature and research (I'm a nerd. Google is what I do), and I look things up all the time. But it's not like we walk up the tired mom in the grocery store buying store brand microwave mac and cheese and say "Organic is best." More than likely, we say "I feel ya sister, one of those nights." Would anyone argue that, given an ideal situation, that something else would be more nutritious? No. But not every situation is ideal, in fact, in one way or another, none of ours is.

So, next time we see a woman with her baby, can we forget the labels? No 'attachment parenting' or 'baby wearing' or 'bottle' or 'breast'. No 'kid with a leash' or 'working mom' or 'SAHM'. Just 'mom', and a beautiful one at that.