Ode to the Working Mom

I've been a SAHM (stay at home mom, for all you hip, cool, non-parents out there) for exactly 2 weekdays now. My last day at work was Thursday, but I usually had Fridays off, and they had a (fabulous and yummy and sad and wonderful) going away party for me on Saturday, so I really didn't consider it 'official' til Monday came around.

It hasn't fully sunk in yet, and I think the 'newness' will stick around for a bit. This week is a busy week, so it may be a little bit before we hit some really mundane days (or maybe not), but I can definitely tell a difference, even in just this little bit of time. And thus, I'd like to say a few words to moms who work outside the home, (or maybe inside the home but are paid from a source outside the home).

I'll preface by saying that the 'Mommy Wars' are just ridiculous, and this isn't something to pitch one 'side' against another. To each their own when it comes to mommyhood, and I can honestly say I wasn't ready to stay at home until now. Work played a huge part in keeping me sane, making me feel like my whole life wasn't crazy, and in helping me hold on to 'me' in the midst of a complete identity crisis (which will come in small or large form when a child enters your world).

That being said, here is my ode to the working mom:

- you balance a schedule like nobody's business. Somehow, you manage to make food, keep your house (relatively) clean, play with your kids, run all the errands you need to, and make time for family, after being gone literally all.day.

- in so doing, if you're anything like me, you constantly feel like you're not doing one (or two, or five) of those things well; like you're only doing everything about 70% max. And that's not the best of feelings, because who wants to half-ass anything? Especially anything relating to the most important people in your life, or a career you are invested in.

- You constantly are making choices between 'have to' and 'want to'. Everyone is, true. But I think the wide expanse between the two is heightened. Example: today, I planned to deep clean my kitchen. But, Graham's transitioning and needed some more mom time, and I wanted to just enjoy this amazingly beautiful fall-like day. So what we did instead included the Riverwalk, a few errands, Chik-Fil-A, reading a book under a tree (me, during nap time)  and playing at the park. My kitchen was a disaster when the day started, and was just that much worse by the time dinner was over. I spent a while cleaning it so as not to attract bugs, (it was really bad, let's be honest) but it was OK. When I was working, had I done that, it would have put me so far behind for the rest of the week I would constantly be playing catch up and would have stayed stressed and tense. But now? I have more freedom to choose, and let me tell you, I understand and deeply value that freedom.

- the problem is, if you don't  choose the 'fun' over the 'required' then you feel guilty about not spending enough time with your kid. Now, I don't feel quite so much of the tug between spending all of my free time with Graham, or being OK letting him play on his own. It's still there, it's just not as large of a battle in my mind.

- you have to be 'on' all the time. You have to get everyone up and out the door (looking presentable, at the very least; professional in many instances), go to work, do your job (which could involve possibly just as much whining as you may have gotten at home), get the kid(s), walk in the door, start dinner, do the evening routine, then worry about house stuff and silly things like bills, etc. Finally, you may get to read a book or watch TV, and fall asleep while doing so. Not working outside the home, I am still completely exhausted by the end of the day, but the bonus is, if it's just one of those days and  I choose to stay in my pajamas and not talk to anyone (other than my child, I should probably talk to him), then most days, I can. I probably shouldn't, but the point is, it's an option.

I'm only 2 days in, so I'm sure in a few weeks I'll be writing a post entitled something like "What Was I Thinking" and document all the perks of working outside the home, and how much I miss those. But for now, working mama, I salute you. You are doing what you need to for your family, or for your sanity, or just because you love it. And your kids seeing that will instill in them a whole world of values that don't need to be spoken.