Seasons

Tomorrow is the first day of Autumn. (I actually thought it was yesterday and baked pies and bought a new candle to celebrate. Slightly embarrassing, but hey, we all need some extra fall in our lives.)

Sort of on accident, this has become my theme for the year - 'Seasons'. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 'For everything there is a season') The first year of babyhood is hard for me. There are parts I adore; the firsts, the giggles, the times when they just fall asleep in your arms and cuddle. I don't want those moments to pass. But there are also times I really, really dislike...figuring out food allergies (this is "normal" for us); when they fight sleep and you're basically wrestling a 'ninja octopus' as my husband refers to it; when they're fussy and want to be held and you just.want.SPACE. (like all the time?) Really, what I'm saying is that I'm human. I'm innately selfish and that first year challenges that to its core. And sometimes I fight that challenge, because darn it, let me just stay comfortable!!

Of course, I don't truly want to just stay comfortable; it's just a heck of a lot easier. Then again, I feel the same way about summer. I get all excited for leisurely days and water play and sunshine, but when it comes I'm soon tired of being sweaty, tired of the lack of routine and longing for 'bouquets of sharpened pencils' (if you get that reference we can be friends).

And yet.

And yet, when August rushes in with its schedules and calendars, I get just a little wistful...one more day so we can have a fire pit...one more weekend of lingering and staying up late...one more pool day...one more, one more.

I'm learning, be it ever so slowly, to love the season I am in, for what it IS. The fun parts and the hard parts. Because just as the air now has a nip in it and the leaves are turning colors, each life season too will pass. And I will be wistful at times, wishing for one more, one more.